Review: Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

Stop reading this. Go buy Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, and then come back and read this while the game is downloading and installing. It is also available via XBox GamePass, but I implore you to buy it instead, because games like this don’t come along often, and, when they do, I’d rather see the creators rewarded. I’d also like to see the publishers rewarded, as they were reportedly cool with postponing the game when necessary, and never forced crunch onto the developers. The game released complete, with no plans for DLC, no content removed for Day One DLC, and in a remarkably solid state with few, if any, bugs at all, much less major ones.

These alone are sufficient to buy the game in the modern industry, because the above paragraph is the exception rather than the norm. Crunch is common, games are frequently rushed, games are released in varying degrees of broken, and content is regularly cut from games in order to release it as DLC, and season passes are almost ubiquitous. Clair Obscur deftly avoided all of these problems, shining as a glorious example of how things should be, and was created by a team of passionate people.

And the passion shines through from the moment the game launches. From the wonderfully stylizes user interface to the varying music that accompanies the player throughout, it is immediately and continuously clear that love went into this game. The graphics are gorgeous, yet not simply realistic; there is also a style about them that is distinct, which is fitting for a game that is named after a painting style. Even the standard environments have twists and features to them that make them unique–you have never traveled through a city quite like Lumiere, and I don’t need to know your gaming history to be confident in that statement.

There is a huge variety in environments across the game, and they are all breathtaking. They also all lack a minimap, which many players have derided as causing tedious backtracking, but this is only true for players who haven’t yet learned the rules of the game or who were unwilling to adapt to them. Unlike Final Fantasy X, players can’t simply navigate a yellow triangle on a blue plane and must actually pay attention to the environment. This was a deliberate choice by the developers–in Final Fantasy X and similar games, developers expend tremendous resources making beautiful scenery, only for it to be completely ignored because navigation is confusing and obtuse, leading players to focus entirely on the minimap.

Image credit: Kepler Interactive

This may sound like it makes the game more difficult, and it does… for the first major area. After that, players should have learned the rules of the game, which is to pay attention to surroundings, because every area is diverse, with clear, unique landmarks that make navigation easy; it just requires looking for them, instead of counting on linear paths or a minimap (or in the case of Final Fantasy XIII both a minimap and a horribly linear path).

With a game designed to not have a minimap, it isn’t a problem to lack one, just like a game that is designed to not have a jump button does not create a problem by lacking one. The people complaining about not having a minimap to stare at while they ignore the exquisite and fascinating world that the developers made are simply people who do not want to adapt to the new situation. They want to run from A to B without paying much attention, because that is how modern games have acclimated them.

Here is the objective marker on your map. You have a minimap in the top-right corner of your screen. We’ll put a glowing dot where the objective is, though it may be on the edge of your minimap if it’s too far away. Don’t worry about missing any side content–we displayed the side paths clearly on the minimap, so they can’t be missed. Also, here, we’ll go ahead and add treasure chest icons to the minimap. Also, here’s a quest log, complete with a checklist, just so you can be absolutely sure you didn’t miss anything. And if that’s not good enough, here’s a completion percentage also.

The above is how most modern games present themselves to players. In Clair Obscur, it is not only easy to miss side paths, for players who aren’t watching close enough, but there are optional bosses, useful items, and other worthwhile stuff hidden on the side paths. After a few areas, players should get a feel for how the designers went about hiding things, because there is a great deal of consistency and thought, but even late into the game it’s easy to miss an alcove that leads to something, or climbing pegs subtly placed on a wall.

I tend to be pretty good at video games, and I would encourage everyone to play through the same way that I did: without using a guide. Many people have cited a 30-50 hour playtime, and by my reckoning that is based on people playing on Story Mode (drastically reduced difficulty) while using online guides. I was at about 100 hours when I started New Game Plus, and I had come pretty close to 100%ing the game, I think–there is no completion percentage. It’s okay to get lost and poke around for a while; that’s kinda what it means to play a game. If, however, you’re one of those people who requires a checklist and quest log and minimap, and you cannot adapt to playing a game as a game instead of as a spreadsheet that needs to be filled out, then you may not enjoy Clair Obscur as much.

Visuals and an excellently designed world are not the only ways that Clair Obscur excels. The music is spectacular, and much of it features vocals, which is very unusual for a video game. However, now that I’ve heard it used so extensively during a game, I am left wondering why game developers continue to rely so heavily on instrumentals. Instrumental music was originally just a way to get around technical limitations in audio production–you couldn’t have singing with 8-bit bleeps and bloops. Even into the N64 era, singing wasn’t really possible, as including tracks with vocals on the N64 forced the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater games to reduce the number, quality, and length of the tracks.

These limitations are no longer applicable. Games weigh in at 50 gigabytes and more, so a 3 MB mp3 file is trivial. Likely because of tradition, though, most music in video games continues to be instrumental, but this is decidedly not the case in Clair Obscur, which has some wonderful music. Through the entire game, only one track irritated me with its vocalizing, and that was in an optional area where someone spoke French through the song. It likely would have been less irritating if I could speak French, but I’ll confess to muting the music in that short, optional area.

Given how so much thought went into everything else, I have to think it was also deliberate to have such a great abundance of audio variety, as well. While all the tracks are great (except the one I found annoying), very few are repeated, and there are several different battle themes, which leaves very few of the songs actually being memorable, simply because they don’t play often enough to be. No matter how great a track is, if you only hear it once, it isn’t going to lodge itself in your mind. I suspect this was done to keep the music on par with the visuals and story, while ensuring that the visuals and story were the features that players remember most when they put the game down.

Obsession

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 is the only game I have ever played that, if I was not playing it, I was actively thinking about it. This game had my attention in a way that no other game ever has, and I’m not alone in that assessment. There are many reasons for the obsession that possesses people when playing this whirlwind of a game, but the main reasons are the story and the characters. The game is so compelling that after the previous sentence, I stopped writing to go and play it, though I’ve already gotten 120+ hours in it.

I’m going to avoid spoilers as much as humanly possible, but no one ever feels truly safe throughout the story, and people die. This leads to some very surprising developments, where I asked a friend who was also playing, “They come back, right?” So few writers have the courage to do what Sandfall Interactive has done.

The obsession is real, and is owed to the intriguing characters, world, and story. Tremendous amounts of thought and effort went into the characters, all of whom have compelling motives and traits, with the possible exception of Lune, who is a fairly one-note character.

Esquie, while not actually a playable character, is a darling of the game, and I expected to find their mannerisms annoying based on what I read, but everything about Esquie proved endearing rather than irritating. Monoco at first was a character I didn’t think I’d like, but I discovered a great deal of depth within him, and was as captivated by him as any other. As a mage, Lune had the easiest path to my heart, and it really speaks to the strengths of other characters that by the middle of the second act I was tired of her and more intrigued by Sciel, whose tragic background puts her carefree and good-spirited character in a very different light. There is also Verso, who has the odds stacked heavily against him in terms of likability, but even he managed to win me over. Finally, there is Maelle, clearly preferred charger of the game and obviously the true main character, whose conflicts immediately propel the narrative forward.

There is so much more going on in this world than it initially seems, which is impressive, given that it is bustling with vibrance and intrigue from the start. The main enemy of the game is the Paintress–like a sorceress, except she paints. Not only does this make perfect sense in the context of the game world, but it also adds layers of interest to the creative masterpiece that is Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. Players are never bored, and it’s rare to actually feel like you have a solid handle on what is going on.

That said, Clair Obscur does not take its cue from the half-assed endings of American horror movies. Events actually get explained in a satisfactory way, although a few pieces of the story are merely alluded to, and the endings (of which there are two) leave players feeling a little uncertain about it all, especially concerning whether they made the right decisions. It is near the end of the game that the threads begin to unravel in a way that allows players to see the full canvas, and the revelations never feel unwelcome or completely unexpected.

Given that I’ve focused heavily on the story, you might assume that the gameplay is the lesser part of the package, but that would be incorrect. Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 borrows heavily from Final Fantasy X, and one clear inspiration is the combat. Like FFX, a turn order appears (although in the top-left of the screen instead of the right) giving players a clear understanding of what is upcoming in the turn-based fight. There is no half-assed, awannabe Devil May Cry here–it is truly turn-based, and the best take I’ve seen of the style since Bravely Default.

There are dreaded Quick Time Events, but they are not obtrusive or particularly destructive if players miss them. Nearly every attack features one or two, and nailing the timing increases the damage the character does by roughly 5%. Thankfully, it is always the same button needing to be pressed, and no attack has an obnoxious “Press A, then X, then Y, then X twice” QTE. Instead of feeling forced and grating, the QTEs are a minor but welcome addition to the combat.

More importantly, players have the option to dodge incoming attacks, parry incoming attacks, and, occasionally, jump over incoming attacks. This is where the combat shines brightest. Windows to dodge attacks are more forgiving, and there’s no need to worry about whether to Dodge or Parry–both work for nearly any attack, with the only exceptions being enemy Gradient Attacks (which require a different button, but which are also obvious when the enemy uses one, as the game goes grayscale) and attacks that must be jumped over. Attacks that must be jumped start with a clear icon in the enemy animation, and attempting to dodge or parry will result in a hit to the characters. Jumping is easy, and by far the easiest way to counter attacks, as the counter window is fairly forgiving.

Dodging is easy, but parrying is how you win, because it comes with a free counterattack that hits much harder than a standard base attack. It is entirely possible to go through the game without ever taking damage, by mastering the parry mechanic. Audio and visual cues on parry timing are usually clear, but don’t interpret this to mean the timing is easy to master. A no damage run is definitely possible, but it will take a lot of practice, and don’t expect it to happen on your first (or first ten) playthroughs, even in Story Mode (what the game calls Easy difficulty).

Recent patches have made Story Mode easier, though I would recommend going through the game in its intended normal mode. The difficulty is masterful, and the difficulty curve is expertly handled. Enemies begin the game having a single, choreographed attack, but as the game progresses players will find themselves needing to parry, party, jump, and then parry again. It is also refreshing to reach a new area and encounter entirely new enemies, only to barely survive.

Difficulty in games can vary wildly, and can mean drastically different things. Difficulty in the original Resident Evil 2 meant carefully managing one’s resources across an entire playthrough, including the ability to save, and some games, especially RPGs, start out challenging and only get easier. Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 manages to be the rare JRPG that begins relatively easy, and actually gets more difficult. Enemies pick up more attacks per turn and their attacks become harder to parry.

It is the norm here to reach a new area and barely survive the first several battles while the player learns the new enemies and their attack patterns. On normal difficulty, it’s usually not enough to cause a game over, but, even if it does, a game over is a trivial setback, as the game will restart you just before the fight. Bosses, on the other hand, will cause party wipes, as they should.

Players shouldn’t easily defeat every boss they encounter. You’re supposed to die a few times while you learn the attacks and how to counter them. It always feels fair, and players will notice themselves improving against the new enemies and bosses, taking fewer hits and surviving longer. Many people seem to think that they should down every boss on the first encounter, and maybe that’s the case in a lot of games, but it won’t be the case here, and the experience is better for it.

The difficulty here is reminiscent of the NES Mega Man games. It is typical, in those games, to experience one or two game overs while trying to reach the boss of the stage. Players will likely reach the boss in a Mega Man game with one life left, and will lose. Their next attempt will usually have them reaching the boss with two lives, and they’ll start to learn the attacks. On the next attempt, the player will often beat the boss. Players constantly get better at dealing with the enemies and challenges, learning the boss’s patterns and how to deal with it, and ultimately overcome it. This is the exact same arc of new areas and bosses in Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. It never feels unfair or punishing.

Accessibility

In addition to including Story Mode for those who wanted a less challenging experience, which came at the request of one of the voice actors, Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 shows unusual and remarkable care for its gaming audience, as the accessibility features go above and beyond the normal “colorblind mode” and “text to speech” like are typically found in accessibility settings. There is an option to reduce some of the wild camera behavior during battles, an option to automatically perform the QTEs, and more. Could Sandfall Interactive have done even more to make the game accessible? Yes, probably. I don’t know, as I’m grateful to be among those who don’t typically need to use accessibility features (other than subtitles). But they did more than I’m accustomed to seeing, and they deserve credit for that.

I’ve got 120 real hours in Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, and I still play it about once a week. It earned all that time, and I didn’t accidentally leave the game running for a day or two. This is a game that you can really sink yourself into, and one that you will want to get lost in. It’s the sort of game that only comes around every so often, and I don’t recall the last time that I was so enamored with a game and drawn into its world. I firmly believe everyone should play this game, and I don’t think anyone would regret the experience.

Don’t Buy a Switch 2

There once was a company who fought hard to save the gaming industry. Their hard work made them phenomenally successful, and they seemed to consistently fill out their staff with people who genuinely cared about games and the gaming industry. But rumors started to circulate about a takeover of the company by business people–ones who didn’t care about the state of gaming or video games, and were more interested in profits. While their passion for games had made them incredibly successful, the new leadership seemed to stop prioritizing games over profits, and began prioritizing profits over games. The games became uninspired and uninteresting, never deviating much from what made other games successful. Slowly but surely they took fewer risks in game design.

This was no longer a company that would follow up The Legend of Zelda with a 2D sidescroller. This was instead a company that would release a new controller for their new safe, uninteresting console, and would put on this controller a button that is locked behind a paywall. And their fans, who had the wool pulled over their eyes for so many years that they no longer knew they couldn’t see clearly, put out arguments like “It doesn’t matter, because everyone is paying the paywall anyway, so it’s really free.”

If you have to pay money for something, then it isn’t free.

Don’t Buy A Switch 2

I’m not going to buy a Switch 2. And I am going to ask you to not buy a Switch 2, but before we get too deeply into that, it’s important to get some stuff out of the way first.

Yes, I’m being a hater. I’m not a hater, but I am currently being one. I love Nintendo and their games; if you’ll look at my page on Open Critic page on Open Critic, you’ll see that the original Zelda is my favorite game. I don’t know if that would hold true today, though I have played The Legend of Zelda through more times than any other game, and I have a long and storied history with the franchise, as well as Pokémon, Mario, and Super Smash Bros. I love Nintendo, and I totally understand the appeal of their games.

It is because I love Nintendo that I want to see the Switch 2 crash and burn. The NES comprised nearly my entire childhood. Then I played my SNES extensively, distracted only by dipping my toes into Dungeons & Dragons. I was lucky to have gotten an N64, and I put countless hours into Ocarina of TimeGoldeneye 007, and Super Smash Bros. Into the GameCube era, I still did not waver, and had no interest in other consoles. While I did have a PSX and later PS2, these were my supplementary systems. If I bought a new multi-platform game, like Lord of the Rings: The Third Age, then I bought the GameCube version. I confess that I mostly skipped the Wii, having no interest in motion controls, and only picked one up late in its life, but I bought a Wii U at launch, and was there for its mess from the start. So don’t think I’m just anti-Nintendo.

PC Master Race

But I’ve seen the light. I’m a PC gamer these days, and you could never convince me to go back to being a console gamer. I revel in my multiple storefronts, my free online gaming, my free online chat–through Steam or through Discord.

PC gaming is the anti-Nintendo. Every game you’d ever want to play is available on PC, minus a few exclusives (although the Age of Console Exclusives is drawing to a close). Nintendo is stodgy with their emulated games via Switch Online, but PC gaming doesn’t have that same problem. PC gamers aren’t limited to the slow drip of highly select games that Nintendo thinks we should play, which include some very odd choices, and it doesn’t really matter what anyone thinks about the legality of this. It’s here, it exists, and virtually no one is at legal risk for downloading some ROMs online. And while I’m not encouraging this, it exists, it happens, and it’s not going away. To pretend like PC gamers can’t play Breath of the Wild is denial at its worst, because not only is Breath of the Wild available on PC with minimal setup, but it notoriously runs more smoothly and with vastly improved graphics.

Emulation, though, isn’t what keeps PC gaming robust and thriving. PC gaming thrives precisely because it’s an open platform. If Valve tried charging for online play, a new storefront would appear almost overnight that would not make such a ridiculous mistake. Valve has competition, and the mere possibility of a new arrival to the scene forces Valve to stay in line. PC gaming is a rich and varied pro-consumer landscape not because PC gamers are entitled, but because PC is an open market. Nintendo charges for online play because it can, because people playing their games have nowhere else to go.

Nintendo can charge whatever they want and do whatever they want precisely because of their continued isolationist behavior into an age where it has been shown to be myopic at best to cling to these ideas. When Microsoft began putting their games on PlayStation and PC, someone near the top of their hierarchy described it as “printing money.” They learned that they could make far more money by having their own platform while taking advantage of other platforms. One is left to wonder why Nintendo is so hellbent on maintaining their own platform, despite razor-thin profit margins, if the reason is not simply protectionist garbage that represents the old way of thinking. Yet the Switch 2 has launched, at almost no profit, and has been successful.

The Price is Offensive

Plenty of people are heralding the Nintendo Switch 2 as the most successful console launch of all time, this was because Nintendo, for once in their miserable history, actually produced a fair amount of the things they are selling, and because a console’s initial sales mean absolutely nothing. I would remind everyone that even the Wii U sold out at launch. So I wouldn’t celebrate the success of the Switch 2 quite yet.

There has long been an unspoken agreement between Nintendo and gamers, borne of necessity because, for the last several generations, Nintendo’s consoles simply weren’t up to the task of being a person’s only gaming console. I say this as someone who had a GameCube, Wii, Wii U, and Switch, almost all at launch, and it’s simply true that if you had any of these consoles, then you had another console to play everything that wasn’t a first-party Nintendo game. To do otherwise would be to sit on the sidelines, looking with envy at the people playing The Witcher 3Skyrim, and other titles that were never going to run on Nintendo’s hardware at the time.

This was okay, during the GameCube and Wii eras, because the price of admission–literally, the cost of the hardware necessary to play the gated Nintendo games–was relatively low. At $200, it wasn’t too big a deal to buy one of these consoles in addition to the PlayStation 2 or Xbox 360. The Nintendo Wii U broke this tradition for the first time, launching at $300. And while this may seem a trivial difference, it represents a price increase of 50% from the previous console, and came with a number of larger problems.

On top of this, the price of their games has skyrocketed by 33% and more for the Switch 2, with $70 and $80 games becoming their new standard. Having paid $50 for Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, and gotten more than 120 hours of playtime with it, I can’t help but marvel at Nintendo’s latest spiel that games with more content should have a higher price. Of course, this is a natural extension of the commoditization of gaming over the last several years, where achievement percentages, concurrent player count, and playtime have come to be considered important (spoiler: they aren’t).

Enter the Wii U

Contrary to popular and misguided belief, the Wii U did not fail because people didn’t know whether it was a console or a controller. The soccer moms who bought the Wii because it was the Furby and Tickle-Me-Elmo for a while may have had that confusion, but gamers knew that the Wii U was a new console. Let’s be honest for a moment and recognize that the soccer moms who bought the Wii because it was the latest fad were never going to get a Wii U in the first place, because they had moved on to the next Beanie Baby craze or whatever. Nintendo did not realize this, and thought they were going to ride into the sunset with the soccer moms, and utterly neglected the core gaming audience that had supported them through the bad decisions of the N64 and GameCube.

The result was a failure, but not because the Wii U had a bad name. Honestly, the name wasn’t really even that bad, and it was clear to people who were likely to buy it that the Wii U was a console, not a controller. No, the Wii U failed because in their arrogance and complacence, Nintendo had forgotten to make any games for the damned thing.

Only some games can be a console-seller. They seem to require a robust single-player campaign, a compelling story, and lots and lots of stuff to do. New Super Mario Bros. Wii U and NintendoLand didn’t meet that criteria, and pickings for the Wii U were so sparse that, just a few months into the console’s life, Nintendo held a Direct where they promised that they are working on a new Zelda and a new Mario, among other things. They didn’t have any footage to show, because the games weren’t even far enough along for that, but they were making games, like totes 4 real! Just be patient!

The problem, of course, is that when you buy a $350 console, you expect to have games to play for it, and the Wii U had very little to offer. Breath of the Wild came so late in the Wii U’s life that it was also a launch title for the Nintendo Switch, and, in fact, it’s so closely associated with the Switch that people seem to forget that it is a Wii U game. This makes Nintendo’s greed, on full display with an end price of $120 for Breath of the Wild on Switch 2 ($60 for the base game, $20 for the DLC, $20 for the Switch 2 Upgrade, and $20 for the Switch 2 upgrade for the DLC) even worse than it already seemed. And let me stop people right here: the Switch 2 upgrades aren’t “free” if you have Nintendo Switch Online. It is simply included in your purchase of Nintendo Switch Online. If something requires a purchase, then it is not free.

There seems to be nothing to actually play on the Switch 2. Mario Kart World is not the sort of game one can binge 5 hours a day for multiple days; there just isn’t enough there to entice players. The next major release, Donkey Kong Bonanza, is going to try to fix things, but it won’t be able to. And I must say, it is revealing that Nintendo is leading with its B list and C list series with their new console. As much as people have liked Donkey Kong games over the years, they are not system sellers and will never be. Donkey Kong 64 wouldn’t even have been able to move expansion paks for the N64, and thus they were bundled with it. I wonder how many fewer copies of DK64 would have been sold if the memory expansion had been a separate purchase.

Nintendo’s Anti-Consumer Behavior

It’s sad that such a thing has to be said, but Nintendo has so deftly pulled sleight-of-hand tricks on its fans for such a long time that many have lost all perspective, but free things don’t cost money. The GameChat button being locked behind a paywall isn’t okay, even if that paywall is something that most people already have. It is gatekeeping a button on a controller from people who cannot afford the subscription fee, or who simply don’t want to pay the subscription fee, and that’s a level of brazen anti-consumer behavior that I’m shocked to see even from Nintendo.

They locked their controller behind a paywall.

If EA pulled this, people would go nuts. If Assassin’s Creed locked the ability to press Select to open the map behind a $3 unlock, people would demand Ubisoft’s head. If Warcraft 3 Reforged locked the online matchmaking behind a lobby that cost $12/year to enter, the pitchforks and torches would be gathering outside Activision’s property. When Bethesda even suggested the idea of gating some mods behind a paywall, players snapped and were having none of it

But here is Nintendo, who has put a button on a controller, and put the function of that controller behind a paywall and people are acting like it isn’t a big deal. In and of itself, in a vacuum, such a gross maneuver would be a big deal, but Nintendo doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and their behavior causes a chain reaction that influences other developers and publishers. As of now, it’s a chat feature that isn’t really mandatory (although there are certainly some online games where chat is virtually mandatory), but I don’t think other gaming companies are going to let that be the case for long. After all, once upon a time, loot boxes were only supposed to offer cosmetic content.

How long until Sony locks their analog shoulder buttons behind a paywall? “Pay to unlock the full experience!” Maybe Microsoft will put haptic feedback bundled into the Xbox GamePass Ultimate subscription. After all, it would be free then, right? Maybe Bethesda and EA will get in on the action: “Saving and loading is free, but Quick Save and Quick Load are now bundled with the Season Pass!”

Everyone, calm down, stop freaking out. It isn’t that big a deal. Quick Save and Quick Load are part of the season pass that most people are gonna get anyway, so it’s still free.

Can We Stop Pretending We Aren’t Broke?

Nintendo often becomes the test market for larger changes in the gaming industry, precisely because they have fans who are willing to overlook, or make excuses for, their anti-consumer behavior. Nintendo could come out and charge $9.99 a year for the air gamers breathe when playing Nintendo games, and their fans would say, “Yep, mmhmm. Okay, no biggie. It’s only $9.99 a year.”

But again and crucially, none of these things happen in a bubble. Not only will gaming companies mimic Nintendo’s behavior, but the majority of people paying the Nintendo Switch Online fee aren’t using the Switch or Switch 2 as their primary consoles, so this just raises the price of entry even more for what has always been an affordable supplement to one’s entertainment setup. People need GamePass, a paid Internet connection, electricity, Netflix, Hulu, and all manner of other things, and it’s simply a statement of fact that all of those things compete together and interact together, creating choices that consumers constantly have to make. Nintendo Switch Online for $50 a year is a good value, but the cost isn’t negligible, not in an era where two-thirds of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. In fact, the odds are that most of the people saying “It’s just $50 a year” are themselves completely broke before payday, which makes this talk online even worse, something like a combination of Stockholm Syndrome, denial, and Internet Tough Guy syndrome. Some people out there can’t afford a coffee from Dunkin Donuts when they wake up on their payday, and yet they’re online telling people “It’s just $50 a year.”

Which, of course, is on top of the $450 for the console itself, and then the overly expensive games. $450 absolutely prices a lot of people out of the console, because it’s no longer a cheap supplement at that price. It represents a 50% price increase from the first Switch, and that isn’t a number to scoff at. It’s a big deal, given the long, unspoken agreement been Nintendo and gamers. It was the Wii U that first violated this tradition (notably, the Wii U followed the tremendously successful Wii), launching at $350 and coming with no real games to catch people’s interest.

Let’s say you bought a Switch 2 because you want to play Mario Kart World. Having beaten it in less than 8 hours, you try to go online, only to learn that you have to have Nintendo Switch Online to play online. This makes your total payment $550. How many people out there really have $550 to throw around like that? Do you, reader, actually have any money in your savings account? That isn’t a judgemental question–two out of three Americans are broke and drowning in debt; the economy is at fault, not you. It doesn’t change the fact, though, that rolling our eyes at a very expensive console, a need to pay an ongoing $50 a year, and $70-80 things is justified. We’re all broke. Let’s stop pretending we aren’t.

There’s a lot of speculation in this story, but even without anyone speculating about who developed Donkey Kong Bonanza, not a word has been said by Nintendo about an upcoming Mario or Zelda. This is because, if there is anything in the works, then it is obviously years away. Even the next Pokémon game, which should be right around the corner given how long ago Scarlet and Violet released, has had nothing official revealed. How far away are these games? Game Freak is about to release a pretty awesome looking game onto, interestingly, everything except the Nintendo Switch 2, but all we have for the illustrious, console-selling Pokémon games is Pokémon Legends ZA, which is cool for those people who liked Pokémon Legends: Arceus, but I was not among those people, and I want my next mainline Pokémon. I briefly played competitively, after all–this is not a passing desire for me. In fact, a sufficiently alluring mainline Pokémon could make me eat every word I’ve ever said by causing me to buy a Switch 2.

But where is it?

Especially after The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom, and now the bone that gamers were thrown after they ill-advisedly begged for Wind Waker for years, a new Zelda game is at least a few years away. This is two Nintendo’s biggest franchises. This is their juggernauts, their titans, their literal console sellers. And they are MIA, not even a promise from Nintendo that we’ll see one of them next year–because we won’t. Realistic expectations put a new Zelda or 3D Mario into 2027 at the earliest. Is Hyrule Warriors: Age of Imprisonment going to scratch the Zelda itch until then? Hardly–Age of Calamity was hardly a worthy successor to either Breath of the Wild or Hyrule Warriors. 

Boredom, Boredom, and More Boredom

Just what are people supposed to do with their Switch 2? Nintendo seems to be utterly confused about who is buying games and why, but almost no one bought a Switch because they wanted to play Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. If Mario Kart 8 had been a console-seller, then the Wii U wouldn’t have been a failure, since Mario Kart 8 launched on the Wii U, and Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is a port of the Wii U title. This logic is irrefutable. If people had been willing to buy a Switch to play Mario Kart, then they would have been willing to buy a Wii U to play Mario Kart.

Donkey Kong and Metroid are good enough franchises, but they are more like Mario Party than anything else. What I mean by this is that they are games people buy when they already own the console, because they need something to play on it and, if nothing else, Nintendo’s games are usually fun. You know before you buy Mario Party Jamboree what it is going to be, and that it will be a good time here and there. It’s filler. It’s the chips and snack cakes we eat between meals.

Perhaps you were considering enjoying many of the third party titles now available on Nintendo’s platform, like Elden Ring or Hogwarts Legacy? The only real issue with that, as I’ve been saying for a while because I saw exactly this happen with the Wii U, is that everyone who wanted to play those games has already done so. The Nintendo Switch 2 ports of games are not selling well, which is exactly what one would expect for games that have been available on multiple platforms for several years.

“But… The Switch 2 has a lot of third party support!”

So did the Wii U at launch, which everyone seems to have forgotten. Ubisoft had promised to go all-in the Wii U, just like Capcom had promised with the GameCube. Capcom had promised five GameCube exclusives for the Wii U, and they ultimately delivered 5 games, but only one remained an exclusive. People just weren’t buying games on the platform enough to justify a continued presence. Ubisoft had the same experience with the Wii U, and released games like ZombiU at launch, which remained the best selling third party title on the Wii U for its entire lifespan… at 500,000 copies. Numbers aren’t available for the Switch 2 ports of games, but they’re likely doing about as well as games did on the Wii U.

Even if the Switch 2 can support 4+ year old games, this feat is neither impressive nor enticing. The Switch 2 won’t be capable of running more modern titles like Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 or the upcoming Game Freak game Beasts of Reincarnation. Nintendo fans are holding out hope for Switch 2 ports of these games, but the publishers are looking at the sales of other Switch 2 party titles, and that makes doing the work an extremely unappealing prospect. If third party games have to be scaled down to run on the inferior hardware (because a game like Clair Obscur is absolutely too much for the Switch 2 to handle without a reduction in graphical fidelity), and then won’t sell very many copies anyway, why bother?

Why Bother, Indeed 

As much as I think gameplay statistics like playtime are a net drag on gaming dialogue, I think it would be valuable here to know exactly how people are spending their time on the Switch 2. I would put my money on Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom comprising the bulk of people’s gameplay, with probably 20-25 hours played on Mario Kart World and Nintendo GameCube games combined. As I thought would happen, people are now playing The Wind Waker and remembering “Oh yeah, this kinda sucks.” Many people are complaining that it isn’t the HD version released for the Wii U, and for some reason they thought that the Wii U version would release onto Nintendo Switch Online onto the GameCube emulator…? I don’t know why they thought that. Good point, though, I guess they should have also put Super Mario All-Stars from the SNES on the NES emulator instead of the original Super Mario Bros. 3. 

Because yeah… that makes sense?

I honestly don’t think very many people really considered the purchase when it came to the Switch 2. Whether FOMO compelled them or a misguided love for a company that exploits their love harsher than any other gaming company out there, people seemed to buy the Switch 2 because it was the latest Nintendo, and that’s that. Now many of them are sitting around watching it collect dust on the shelf, because, other than Mario Kart World, which has no staying power as a gameplay experience outside of the multiplayer, they’ve already played everything the Switch 2 has to offer.

Let’s reflect on that for a moment. As of right now, there are exactly two games available for the Switch 2 that I haven’t already played or can’t play on a platform I already have. And one of those is a glorified tech demo that Nintendo charged $10 for, even though, by all accounts, it should have been bundled with the system. The other is Mario Kart World, which just isn’t the sort of gameplay experience I’m looking to have for a combined price of $500. And you shouldn’t either. And if paying $500 to play Mario Kart World or games you can emulate right now on your phone seems appealing, then I would beg you to raise your standards and demand more of Nintendo.